October: The End

October has quickly come to an end.

Tonight we joined forces with Melissa, Robert and Carol to sate the sugary appetites of wee ones, older ones, and few oddities in between. Zach was designated the official candy giver, though his tendency to enforce the "one for you, one for me" method was a tad unofficial.

However, he is a ruthless candy giver--songs had to be sung, mock battles between Jedi and Clone troopers ensued, and picking candy out of the kid's bags when they just thrust them into his face. The inside peanut gallery had a blast laughing at the antics, oohing and ahhing over costumes and enjoying food.

It was a fabulous end to a month and a great way to start the holiday season!

As a purveyor of free to dos, my interest was piqued today when I read about a free Bohemian Storytelling Tour entitled, "The Menaces of Burnside." It sounded creepy, eerie, unique and quite Portland.

The start point was at the firefighter's memorial, specifically the bell. Over a dozen of us surrounded the bell for the initial remarks and instructions to put our hands on the bell.

I knew Barbara and I were in for a doozy of a time when our time around the bell was a pseudo prayer to the menaces of Burnside, calling those wild and spirited things to guide our time.

Our first stop was in front of the Fantasy Adult Store where the tour guide gave a fictional monologue which included a snippet about the sex lives of brontosaurus. Never fear, mere seconds before we moved along facts were given about the enormity of the sex trade in the city.

The next stop was the monument to zoobombing--those who have taken the Max to Washington Park with bike in tow and have proceeded to ride their bike (no brakes and potentially nude) down the hill into downtown. It was so weird, surrounded by such controversy, and so worthy of a monument.

The tour continued meandering alongside Burnside, sparsely littered with Burnside facts but more of a soapbox for prohibition, immigration, and the cost of ensuring drugs remain illegal.

Meet Mr. Hempire Strikes Back; the official carrier of the paper brown bag. Very secretly and with discretion he would pass out "secret" brownies. The flasks were handled by a handful of other tour participants.

An hour and half into the tour we had reached the city park blocks and the end of our patience. Granted we had laughed profusely and gained a wealth of bohemian insight, but as the narrator began "Act II" of the tour Barbara and I took our leave and met up with Zach for dinner.

You win some and lose some with freebies, but great stories are always in the making.

The Dangers of Communal Living

It has been determined that Lisa and Amanda living under the same roof is dangerous. Lisa alone is a baking beast, event guru, artsy fartsy sort, and one heck of a mom. Amanda is the renegade paddler, potential pot pie specialist, artsy fartsy weirdo, and unemployed. When forces are combined projects such as pumpkin sugar cookies in cool bags are created.

These are the moments that Amanda loves fall and loving on her life group.

Carve O' Mania

Reflections from a Legit Oregonian

American author Greg Anderson once wrote, "Focus on the journey, not the destination. Joy is not found in finishing an activity but in it." Though we attribute our impromptu retreat to Central Oregon to the the hundreds of voices aghast at our lack of Central Oregon traveling, in truth we love journeys.

Zach and I truly love traveling together. We love the random conversations. We love pointing at deer in a round-a-bout. We love listening to the locals to discover the unique and must see places. We enjoy the laughter at the things we did not expect. We take pleasure in tossing the directions and going on whims.

Our trip was excellent. Bend looks as though it is ten years old. Crater Lake is astounding. I was shocked as to the multiple volcano assertions--Lava Cast Forest, Lava Tubes, Molten Mary's Diner, etc. The stars are epic. The Sunriver Observatory is a must do item. Warm Springs looks quite tattered to an outsider. The Santiam Pass was ablaze in yellow trees.

I am sure we will return to the high desert, though I not totally focused on it. It is unique, but I do love my time in the valley.

The Lost City of Atlantis

It is a profound mystery that has mesmerized the academia to the treasure hunters. Atlantis. A city that fell beneath the ripples of the Atlantic Ocean in one day. Greek philosopher Plato is credited with introducing the powerhouse of a city, its feats as well as its demise. The wise, educated men of the world have always deducted that the hidden city was beneath the Atlantic Ocean. I disagree.

Thanks to my insanely complex calculations, observations and highly scientific wise deductions*, I am announcing that Atlantis is really hidden in Crater Lake.

What better way to thwart the treasure hunters of the world and wreck the sanity of experts than to point them to the totally wrong body of water, while the real treasure lies in a crater in the middle of an Oregon high desert.

It is the perfect hiding spot for an ancient naval powerhouse. Reasons include:

• It is under the guise of an imploding volcano.
• It is watched and guarded by a vast eclectic population known as tourist who pay to do it.
• The Phantom Ship is actually an archaic battle ship that ran out of Atlantian fuel.
• The floating log is a periscope for the immortal Atlantians to watch, gawk and laugh at the weird sentries.
• The crater is circular.
• The water is blue. The word Atlantis is actually a Greek word for blue.

I am quite thrilled that I have seen such a unique and amazing piece of landscape in person, as well as clear up one of the greatest mysteries of all time.

*All deductions are based on the Disney movie, Atlantis.

Into the Wilderness

During our four years of being Oregonians the phrase "YOU HAVE NEVER BEEN TO BEND?!" has been frequently shouted at us in very high octaves. The goading, astonishment, and utter disbelief that we had not traversed to the holy mecca of Oregon perplexed us. Never mind that we have traversed over forty states and twenty some countries, not including the bajillion of activities we have partaken in west of the Cascades. Nonetheless, our interest was piqued. A four day weekend was bestowed upon Zach, so we packed our bags for our initial pilgrimage to the land that would stamp us authentic Oregonians.

After the lush and majestic landscape of Mt. Hood, being spit into the high desert is a bit unsettling. It is barren, stark and does not scream hospitality. But after a few miles, the scraggly vegetation and various hues of brown begin to become beautiful and the adventure continues.

We meandered our way across the desert, oohing and ahhing along the way. I was disappointed that once the CRV crossed Bend City limits confetti, fireworks and a parade with 76 trombones did not commence.

We reached our bed and breakfast which lies in between Bend and La Pine.

After checking in and touring the grounds, we had a few hours of daylight. Our host recommended Paulina Peak Overlook, boasting it was the best panoramic view in the entire state. Of course, we had to validate the claim.

Our host was correct. It was an amazing drive and a phenomenal view. The lakes beckoned me, but Gerty sits in Portland.

It was a fabulous introduction to the high desert.

Before the Rains

The signs have been ominous the past few days. Windy. The smell. The achy pelvic bone. I now sit watching the drizzly drops of H20 descend on the yellow and red specked foliage giving a resounding tink-tink sound. Our season is changing.

However before the rain, before the sunbreaks, and before the dampness forced the shake the of the head and overwhelming sadness there was sunshine, happiness, and frolicking in the pumpkin patch.

The day was warm. The patch beckoning for a tromping, The company delightful.

The pickings vast.

It was a good day.

GOL! GOL! GOL!

During the past two months Zach has been (secretly) training Kaden in the ways of real soccer with a plushy soccer ball in our living room. In lieu of their training session yesterday, Kaden watched Uncle Zach play on an actual field with a real ball, real cleats, and very tall people.

It was an intense game and Kaden was quite disturbed that another player was rough handling his uncle.

He could not longer sit and be quiet when it was blatantly obvious the red team was offsides.

When the final whistle blew, Uncle Zach had scored four goals sealing the win. Kaden was happy but proceeded to tell Uncle Zach that his cleats were in need of cleaning, his touch was bit off on the one pass and....

...ooohhh, something shiny with wheels. Kaden osmosisly told Aiden, "Let me touch your bike or I will slide tackle into your shins. Cleats up."

The Upside of Unemployment

Potentially I could write a plethora of words describing yesterday's canoe trip, but I won't at this time. It was beautiful. It was serene. It was the right choice for the day.

We Are True Value

My mother once said, "I loved you as children, however I really love you now that we can run around as adults." I chuckled when she made that comment, but realized the beauty of the statement. Her three children are grown and strewn across the continent; me being strewn the furtherest. Over the years I have enjoyed the moments when I could meet up with family at various locations in Kentucky or across the United States. Last week the bi-annual True Value Hardware market was in Salt Lake City, so I jaunted over to spend three days with my family.

Our time in Salt Lake City was filled with the typical hours perusing various hardware contraptions as well as taking in sights of the city. Saturday morning I spent five hours on a tour bus as the youngest participant of the 'City Tour'.

Temple Square was quite interesting since the LDS General Session was in session, thus meaning twenty seven thousand Mormons were milling about the place.

Lori has been an exhibitor at the show since I was ten years old. This woman has seen us through our geeky, gawky stages of life and knows all kinds of stories. She is special! Last year when my dad could not attend the show due to his heart surgery (the first one he had missed in 18 years), she scoured the show floor and sent him a large package filled with the show freebies. There were a lot and it made his day.

One of the greatest highlights of my weekend was spending time with Matt and Suzanne. I have missed having them in Portland, though it was a huge treat to see their turf--tour Suzanne's hospital, their house, enjoy one of their favorite restaurants. Our time together was filled with great conversation and laughter. It was hard to say good-bye.

Too quickly the weekend was finished and we were saying our good-byes at the airport. Before he could head back to Kentucky, I coerced my dad into trying the new Starbucks insta-brew coffee. I have printed and sent this picture to my dad. It was a big step for this Maxwell House sipping man.